Christian Righteousness and Giving a Boring Lecture
I HATE being boring! Period. But it is one thing to hate something with a passion and another thing not to be what you passionately hate. Yesterday was one of those days when I was, in my humble opinion, a boring teacher. If the length of the class were only 50 minutes, being boring would almost (I lie!) be bearable. But the length of yesterday's class was 80 minutes. That is a VERY long time to be boring and KNOW it!
If you were to ask me why I hated being boring so much, if I wanted to give the "spiritually correct" answer I would say something like, "Just as a boring tour guide in the Alps contradicts and dishonors the majesty of the mountains, so does a boring teacher/preacher contradict and dishonor the majesty of God." If I said that, I would be telling the truth, just not the whole truth. If I weren't at all concerned about "spiritual correctness", I would have to admit that another reason I hate being boring is because it is a threat to my own "righteousness", that is, it is a threat to my personal sense of significance and worth. I regularly struggle with seeking to derive my sense of identity from my performance as a gospel-centered teacher/preacher. If I think I did well after having taught a lesson, my sense of significance is secure and I am happy. If I think I did poorly, my sense of identity is shaken and I beat myself up for having failed. This is self-righteous striving. It is a form of putting confidence in the flesh (Philippians 3:3), or as Paul puts it in Galatians 3:3, it is a form of trying to complete myself. Whenever I seek to derive my sense of significance or worth from my own performance in whatever area of life, what I am actually guilty of doing is striving to establish my own righteousness (Romans 10:3-4).
Well, as I was giving this boring lecture, I remember having thoughts like this, "Dan, being a good speaker is not your righteousness. Jesus is your righteousness! He is your identity, your significance. Here you go again trying to complete yourself! Repent of your damnable efforts to secure your own identity and start rejoicing in the identity that has been freely given to you in Christ apart from striving." That's not word for word, but that was the essence of what was going on in my mind and heart.
You know, after I FINALLY finished being boring, that is, when I finished the lecture, by God's grace I didn't move into the "beat myself up" mode. Rather, I thought something like, "Dan, you are a silly little hobbit! How silly of you to think that you can complete yourself. You are far worse off than you even know! But God has given you a righteousness that is far better than you can even imagine. Rest and rejoice." Thank God for Christian righteousness!
P.S. I had to get Lord of the Rings in there somehow =)
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Free from ourselves. I find that thought liberating. This blog is the best thing that comes in my Inbox!
Dear Brother Hobbit!
How true! How true! YOU ARE BORING! But I'm excited about your righteousness IN CHRIST! :)
Well! I had to make you smile today. Dan, I am truly grateful for your continued ministry in my life. Your transparency is exemplary and encourages my heart in the same Christ-like direction.
I have been "preaching the Gospel to myself, and my wife, and my kids, and my employees, etc., etc., etc.
YES! Thank God for Christian righteousness along with brothers and sisters in Christ who actually "get it."
PS...PRAISE! We needed 8500.00 to pay taxes today. 1900.00 came in. We went into panic mode...and attempted to help God, OUR way. (Calling my parents and begging for assistance...) I hung up the phone, and the buzzer to the front door rang. It was Federal Express....with an envelope. Inside the envelope was a 10,000.00 check. GOD KNEW OUR NEEDS AND TOOK US UP TO THE LAST MINUTE...I CRACKED...AND YET, HE REMAINED FAITHFUL. Praise Him for His Righteousness AND Goodness!
Your brother in Christ,
Rick
Great post, brother. And you know why I think so. What mercy it is to laugh at and loathe our sin. Thanks for modeling, in this post, how to do it.
-SA
hobbit indeed. we do so miss the applied theology of LOTR in these parts.
why am i wired to be in a constant success/failure mentality? not just in teaching, but in every part of life - i want so badly to be able to save myself. what a relief to be reminded that it's a good thing i cannot.
As a fellow hobbit, I appreciate your willingness to share your struggles. It has encouraged me, a perfectionist, to look away from myself and back to Christ! I have been battling this perfectionism for the past week instead of resting in the righteousness of Christ. What a joy it is to think that God still loves because of His Son! =)
Thank you for putting into words what I struggle with all the time.
I love the Gospel. I need it more. Thanks for sharing.
John Lawrence
Dan, We are so performance driven, believing that God evaluates us the way we evaluate ourselves. I struggle with this as we all do. One book that helped me bring this into perspective was Ed Welch's When People Are Big and God Is Small.
Your thoughts, both during and after your boring lecture, are good reminders of the constant need to deal with our idolatry.
Terry
Your blog reminded me of how often I am a Pharisee and compare myself to others instead of to Christ. Thanks for the reminder that my righteousness is in Him. I don't know how many times I relearn this...too many.
If you were always the exciting teacher that you expect yourself to be, you would lose that sense of exhultation that comes on those days that you really communicate the lesson. It's only through failing that we can fully learn the satisfaction of success.
Hate to admit it, but I've been boring, too. Regroup, refocus, and realize that you will again have a day like this; however, your value is not lessened because of it.
Sure do miss the Cruvers around Hobbiton!
Dan your transparency is a great encouragement. Trying to be my and my families "savior" is one of my biggest struggles. Thank you for preaching Christ and His righteousness - why I keeping losing track of that is beyond me and how could I want anything but Christ.
I was recently in a similar situation and the subject was justification. The great irony of teaching on justification while trying to be my own righteousness only further reveals my nasty heart. That week I came across this quote from Martin Luther as I was preparing for Reformation Sunday.
“You should tell the devil ‘Just by telling me that I am a miserable, great sinner you, Devil, are placing a sword and a weapon into my hand with which I can decisively overcome you; yea, with your own weapon I can kill and floor you.
For if you tell me that I am a poor sinner, I, on the other hand, can tell you that Christ dies for sinners and is their Intercessor.... You remind me of the boundless, great faithfulness and benefaction of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
The burden of my sins and all the trouble and misery that were to oppress me eternally He very gladly took upon His shoulders and suffered the bitter death on the cross for them.
To Him I direct you. You may accuse and condemn Him. Let me rest in peace, for on His shoulders, not on mine, lie all my sins and the sins of all the world.” Martin Luther
The human struggle of comparing ourselves amongst ourselves and not to Christ. Thank God for his Grace to show us the end of ourselves and the complete, eternal Christ.
This is my second exposure to your blog, Dan, and this post took the garbage-can lid off and gave me a whiff of my self-righteousness. Not pleasant . . . but you also gave me some Lysol! (Had enough of that analogy yet?) Thanks.